Luna读 | 《掌控习惯》(Atomic Habits)

May 23, 2022 字数 2809 6 min


0. 前言

这周末读完了公司组织共读的第二本书 —— Atomic Habits (An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones)。

这本书评分挺高的,豆瓣 8.7Goodreads 4.4

对我来说,这本书如果不是公司要求的阅读书目,可能会更倾向于听个书摘,或者 audible 听个有声书,来的比较高效。

不过读纸质书也有好处,可以写写画画,我基本上是睡前 20 分钟阅读,然后看一章就睡着了(催眠效果不错)。

作者的官网里面有一些相关的 PDF 和 template 可以免费下载。

今天这篇文章来总结一下我从这本书里面学到的东西,因为读的是英文版,所以会中英文夹杂着写。


1. 前提

  1. 习惯与我们的身份互相影响 - You are your habits
  2. 建立习惯的四个步骤 - The Habit Loop: Cue, Craving, Response, Reward
    1. Problem Phase: Cue and Craving
    2. Solution Phase: Response and Reward
  3. 改变习惯的四个定律(建立习惯 / 戒除习惯):
    1. Cue - Make it obvious / invisible
    2. Craving - Make it attractive / unattractive
    3. Response - Make it easy / difficult
    4. Reward - Make it satisfying / unsatisfying

2. Cue - Make it obvious / invisible

  1. 衡量现状的工具 - Habit Scorecard: 把自己做的所有事情都写下来,用 +, =, - 三个符号来标记习惯与目标之间的关系;
    1. Awareness comes before desire.
  2. 定义习惯触发事件 - Implementation intention
    1. When situation X arises, I will perform response Y.
    2. I will [BEHAVIOR] at [TIME] in [WHEN].
  3. 建立自己的日常生活习惯 - Habit stacking
    1. After [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].
  4. 别相信自己的意志力,要让自己处于有利于实现目标的环境中。
    1. 戒掉坏习惯的最好方式是去掉触发事件;
    2. Our real motivation is to be lazy and to do what is convenient.
    3. Emotions drive behavior, we can only be rational and logical after we have been emotional.

3. Craving - Make it attractive / unattractive

  1. 激励我们采取行动的是对未来的回报的「渴望」,并非回报本身。It is the anticipation of a reward - not the fulfillment of it - that gets us to take action.

    1. 对未知的兴奋和渴望是 wanting,得到想要的回报是 liking,我们的大脑会在 wanting 时分泌更多的多巴胺。It’s the idea of pleasure that we chase.

    2. Satisfaction = Liking - Wanting, our expectations determine our satisfaction. The pain of failure correlates to the height of expectation.

    3. Temptation bundling: 把自己喜欢做的事情和必须去做但没那么想做的事情放在一起做

    After [HABIT I NEED], I will [HABIT I WANT].

  2. 加入目标一致的社群,让自己的行为可以得到正向反馈。If a behavior can get up approval, respect, and praise, we find it attractive.

  3. 如何让自己渴望做困难的事情?首先从心理上不要抗拒,要知道自己做这件事想要达到的目的,假如真的想达成那个目的,就必须要付出努力去做这件事。

    1. Change “I HAVE to” to “I GET to”,说「我要做」,而不是「我得做」。
    2. 完成一件困难的事情后,马上接着做一件自己喜欢的事情,让自己保持良好的感觉。
    3. With a big enough WHY you can overcome any HOW.
  4. 如何戒掉坏习惯?先找到坏习惯背后真正的渴望和需求,用不同的方式来满足深层需求。


4. Response - Make it easy / difficult

  1. 关注「做」,而非「计划」,习惯只能通过练习来创建,光想是没用的。
  2. 建立新习惯的关键在于「频率」而非「时长」。The amount of time you have been performing a habit is not as important as the number of times you have performed it.
  3. Reduce the friction associated with good behaviors, create an environment where doing the right thing is as easy as possible, and doing bad things are as difficult as possible.
  4. 关键时刻的选择决定了你下一步能有哪些选择:Decisive moments set the options available to your future self. Your options are constrained by what’s available. We are limited by where our habits lead us.
    1. 通过「gateway habits」来保证自己做出有利于实现目标的选择,比如每天要穿上跑步鞋,走到健身房停留两分钟。
    2. Habits can be completed in a few seconds but continue to impact your behavior for minutes or hours afterward.
  5. 习惯只有创建之后才能改进,所以一开始先别想着完美,持续地做就对了。
    1. Master the habit of showing up, do the easy thing on a more consistent basis.
    2. A habit must be established before it can be improved. You have to standardize before you can optimize. You can’t improve a habit that doesn’t exist.
  6. 如何保证自己做了还想做?秘诀在于,及时喊停。
    1. The secret is to always stay below the point where it feels like work. The best way is to always stop when you are going good.
    2. It’s better to do less than you hoped than to do nothing at all.
  7. 把定期要做的事情通过自动化的工具来帮助你完成/记住,这样你就可以有多余的脑力去做那些困难的、无法自动化的事情了。When you automate as much of your life as possible, you can spend your effort on the tasks machine cannot do yet.
  8. 有些一次性的决定可以帮你节约大量未来的时间。Onetime choices - like buying a mattress or enrolling in an automatic savings plan - are single actions that automate your future habits and deliver increasing returns over time.

5. Reward - Make it satisfying / unsatisfying

  1. Immediate-return 和 delayed-return 的区别在于,人类的本能驱使我们想要及时满足,但是文明社会奖励的却是那些能接受延迟满足的人。
    1. You value the present more than the future. Our bias toward instant gratification causes problems. The consequences of bad habits are delayed while the rewards are immediate - like smoking and over-eating.
    2. Often, the sweeter the first fruit of a habit, the more bitter are its later fruits. The costs of your good habits are in the present. The costs of your bad habits are in the future.
  2. 我们可以利用人类的本性来达到目的,比如在完成了有助于实现目标的行为后得到及时的满足感,做了不利于实现目标的行为后有迅速的惩罚性反馈机制。
    1. You want the ending of your habit to be satisfying, the best approach is to use reinforcement (e.g., habit stacking + temptation bundling).
    2. 想要省钱,可以开一个储蓄账户,每次抑制住了想买东西的欲望,就把钱转入那个专门的账户,这样可以得到及时满足。
    3. 可以跟朋友签订习惯合同,假如自己没有达成目标就接受惩罚(比如给朋友一笔钱)——这个也用到了人性中希望给别人留下好印象的本能。
  3. 我们也可以通过记录自己的习惯完成情况来获得「the feeling of making progress」,但这个要视情况而定,不能忘记「目标」,仅关注「过程」,也不能啥都记录,记录不是目的,只是手段。

6. 高阶技能

  1. 每个人都有天赋和不同的能力,我们要了解自己,并且选择适合自己的赛道,当你发现你做某件事比大多数人都轻松且能得到良好的效果时,这就说明这是你的强项。

    1. Choose the habits that best suits you, not the one that is most popular.
  2. 花 80% 的时间在自己擅长的事情上,另外 20% 的时间用好奇心和开放思维去探索不同的可能性。

    1. Known as explore/exploit trade-off.
  3. When you can’t win by being better, you can win by being different. By combining your skills, you reduce the level of competition, which makes it easier to stand out.

    1. 要做那个定义自己人生游戏规则的人,而不是在别人的规则中比赛。

    A great player creates a new game that favors their strengths and avoids their weaknesses.

  4. 天赋不能代替努力,它只是用来指引你努力的方向。Genes do not eliminate the need for hard work. They clarify it. They tell us what to work hard on.

  5. Goldilocks rule: 做那些稍有挑战的事情。If you are already interested in a habit, working on challenges of just manageable difficulty is a good way to keep things interesting.

    1. 当一件事情的成功率只有 50% 时,你会觉得做这件事是有趣的;
    2. 当一件事情的成功率是 100% 时,你会开始感到无聊;
    3. 当一件事情的成功率低于 50% 时,你会丧失信心;
  6. 想要成功,就必须忍受无聊和孤独感,即便不在状态,也能完成必须做的事情。No habit will stay interesting forever. At some point, everyone faces the same challenge on the journey of self-improvement: you have to fall in love with boredom.

    1. Anyone can work hard when they feel motivated. It’s the ability to keep going when work isn’t exciting that makes the difference.
    2. Professionals stick to the schedule; amateurs let life get in the way.
  7. Habits + Deliberate Practice = Mastery

    1. 当习惯变得自动化时,我们就停止了改进,但想要达到大师级别,我们必须不断进行刻意练习,不能进入「自动驾驶模式」。
  8. 如何确保自己依旧在进步,而不是原地踏步?Reflection and review, never stop making improvements.

    1. Reflection and review ensures that you spend your time on the right things and make course corrections whenever necessary.
    2. 作者每年有两次 review,相隔半年:
      1. Annual review: what went well this year? What didn’t go so well this year? What did I learn?
      2. Integrity report: What are the core values that drive my life and work? How am I living and working with integrity right now? How can I set a higher standard in the future?
    3. 复盘可以让你再次确认自己的身份和习惯/行为的匹配度,找到改进空间和努力的方向。
  9. 习惯不是「拒绝改变」的借口,我们要保持灵活性,与时俱进,拥抱改变。

    1. Keep your identity small. The more you let a single belief define you, the less capable you are of adapting when life challenges you.
    2. When you cling too tightly to one identity, you become brittle. Lost that one thing and you lose yourself.
    3. The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail.
    4. Being curious is better than being smart.

7. 结语

最后,分享一句挺有共鸣的话:

Happiness is the space between one desire being fulfilled and a new desire forming. Likewise, suffering is the space between craving a change in state and getting it.

当我们完成了一件事情并且期待下一件事情时,我们感到快乐;

当我们希望得到某样东西却还没得到时,我们感到折磨。

快乐和折磨是生活的一体两面,唯有付出,才能享受收获的愉悦(Reward is on the other side of sacrifice.)

记住:想要快乐,就别停下前进的脚步。


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